By Beth Golden, Ph.D.
As I gain greater distance from my younger self, there is so much I’d like to tell her to make her life easier and filled with joy.
First, I’d tell her everything gets better all the time. It is good to know that there is a wonderful Universe that always has your back, even when you’re in the pit of despair. The journey on this amazing planet goes by quickly…say yes to opportunities even if you don’t think you’re prepared. Feel the fear and do it anyway, because fear really means Feeling Excited And Ready.
I’d tell her to chill out with her husband, who passed away too soon. Realize his being is all about protection and being right (Darn it!) and don’t wait ten years to figure this out. Find ways to embrace his “rightness”, and still have your opinion heard and considered. This will help you have a more peaceful relationship and a more pleasant life, rather than one filled with arguing, anger and wounding.
I’d let her know that your kids will grow into amazing adults. All the frustrations with your ADHD child, all the bloody screaming fits, wild youthful days and navigating an unconventional educational path will serve him well. He grows into a loving and kind person, with a big vision … despite what neighbors said behind your back! Your younger son will survive his daredevil ways, that will include skateboard luging, doing flips off the top of your van, rollerblading at break neck speeds down hills and blowing through four-way stops without a spotter. He will grow into an amazing, well-educated man with a heart of service. He will travel the world to help the poor and needy. Take a breath – you will all get through it!
I’d tell you to worry less and love yourself more. Celebrate your victories, small or large, rather than checking them off the list and quickly moving on. I’d tell you to love your body rather than torturing yourself about being overweight…when in fact you weren’t. Or when feeling overweight, you do something positive about it rather, than loathing yourself.
I’d let you know that you are a one-time miracle floating on this third rock from the sun. A tiny planet in a vast universe. Yes, YOU get to inhabit a physical 3D body. Your presence here is important!
I’d tell you to slow down, listen to your higher self and embark on your soul’s calling sooner, rather than continually pushing it away, because you thought others would think it was irrelevant or stupid.
I’d tell you to slow down and breathe, so when it was time to jettison into a faster life, you’d maintain your center rather than fretting and worrying over the blessings you created.
I’d tell you that people you love will pass away, or move away, leaving their indelible print upon your broken heart. Your broken hearts will mend and the scars that are left will soften into beauty, richness, transformation and wisdom. You came here to experience life in its fullest and you do! You will experience great joy, accomplishment, anger, fear, hurt…you will be fashioned by the flames of your collective experiences into the most beautiful gem, one that reflects its faceted light which is attractive to all. Others made of lesser stuff would have been crushed under the weight of losing your husband, raising teenage sons, parents passing away, lovers that should have remained friends and decisions (good and bad) about money. As a result of all of this, you will teach others how to live in love and gratitude and how to get there a lot faster than you did.
I’d tell you that you aged well and your best is yet to come, even when you feel the wind of time rushing past you. I’d tell you to take action, with courage when met by massive change, knowing that all will be well. Always take one step at a time without getting overwhelmed, or freezing into procrastination and apathy.
I wish you could see yourself as I see you now.
I’d remind you that you’ve always worn a crown, yet until recently you’ve forgotten your place. You process information at lightning speed, and are both intuitive and sympathetic. You are able to determine, with surgical precision, what is a tick off in those you love, and are able to hold a vision of good until they can hold it for themselves. You are kind, patient with others (really!!) and understand the challenges of life. I’d tell you to quit taking yourself so seriously! You are here to have fun and touch the lives of many.
My blessing of encouragement to you would be: Love yourself and others, live in gratitude and trust the universe to move on your behalf.
As you do…all you touch turns to gold!