by Remi Thivierge and Jill Miller

Are you ready to be in a wonderful relationship — either improving your current one or looking for a fabulous new one? One of the great secrets about creating the relationship you truly desire — one that supports your growth, helps you heal, and provides companionship in service and love — is that it’s an inside job.

We have sub-personalities that don’t always cooperate with our highest goal. Because they’re partly unconscious, we don’t have full control over our sub-personalities. They run on old unconscious beliefs that don’t always fit our current reality.

Consider a woman who’s looking for a relationship, but doesn’t trust men because her father mistreated her.  She’s done healing work on this and thinks her issues are fully resolved. However, her inner child is still devastated by the old trauma and remains unhealed. She’s terrified of getting into a new relationship even though she’s consciously yearning to find a mate.

Think of the man who avoids expressing his feelings because it was not okay for him to do so as a child. His mom believed that he was supposed to always be strong because he was male. As a result, he never learned to express his feelings constructively.

Think of the woman who idealizes her husband who died years ago and thinks no one will ever be good enough to replace him. She looks down on her new husband of three years because he’s not her first husband’s ghost. Her inner female is still married to her first husband, although he’s been dead for fifteen years.

Consider that we have experienced past lifetimes with many of our co-workers, our friends, and certainly with our spouses, children, and other family members.  When you share similarities with certain people, it’s because you’re closely connected as souls.  We’ve been each other’s mother, father, spouse, and child — often many times.

The result of being similar to these people is that we can really relate to each other. However, there are old karmic debts to pay. One person may work wonderfully with us for a while, but later sabotage our financial success because we created financial difficulties for each other over previous lifetimes.

We may trust another person a great deal, for example, because she (or he) was our mom in a previous lifetime. And then perhaps we experience a difficulty and the unresolved negative karma between us comes to the surface; distrust arises because of something that happened seventeen lifetimes ago. Of course, we’re not conscious of the cause of our feelings, and label it as something else.

For example, a jealous woman may instinctively distrust her husband because he cheated on her some lifetimes ago.

All of these relationships will suffer unless the issues are resolved. Old beliefs held by our sub-personalities are out of date and driven by old unconscious programs.

We have outmoded beliefs regarding the spiritual path as well. For example, we may believe that getting closer to God / Spirit is dangerous, that we’re unworthy, or that God can’t be trusted because we died each and every lifetime, among other reasons. We work really hard to evolve but because of these unresolved issues, our efforts guarantee that we’ll fail.

The same applies if we want to manifest something. Parts of us prevent our success because of unresolved issues from this and previous lifetimes, including vows of poverty, vows to remain celibate, and so on.

Every difficulty we encounter on our path is an opportunity to look at ourselves and heal old issues at our personality, one of our sub-personalities (such as our inner critic or inner child), and at the soul level (in the akashic records).

This is true of your children as well. Unresolved issues will play out. You may notice your kids acting out or under-performing at school or at work when they’re young adults. As a result, many adults and children are labeled and medicated by professionals who don’t understand that we’re spiritual beings living on Earth School, here to learn to resolve old issues we’ve been carrying this and many other lifetimes.

Jill Miller MA, is a transformative counselor, guide and healer with 18 years’ experience. She works worldwide with indigos and sensitive souls, helping them find their soul purpose and the divine blueprint for their lives.

Rémi Thivierge MSW, RSW, RMFT, is an intuitive transformational healer with 35 years’ experience in the helping field. He is the author of Profound Healing for Indigo Children &Youth… and Other Sensitive Souls (2012). If you wish to learn if you or your loved ones are a sensitive soul or indigo, please complete the questionnaire at






Sandra G. Malhotra is the Owner, Publisher and Editor-in-Chief of Regenerate Magazine. She is just a little bit passionate about health and wellness being our birthright.